The Black Dagger Brotherhood - An Insider's GuideLast updated: 4/4/2016 — new information in italics

These cheat sheets summarise what we know so far about the world of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. Click here for a round-up of BDB-related posts on Book Thingo.

This section contains information on:

    • Trez
    • iAm
    • Selena
    • maichen

After his astrological chart determined that he was the destined sire of the next Shadow queen, TrezLath was elevated to a life of luxurious captivity with books penned by Shadow Masters, a private chef, care team and jewel-encrusted clothing, while he waited for the current princess to reach astrological age and they could begin procreating. But once the mating happens, he takes the princess’s place in isolation, with his duties reduced to sexually serving the princess if he’s not waiting on the queen. The princess only sees her mother at ceremonies an her life is every bit as isolated as her mate’s.

He never wanted any of it. His fate was fixed by his birth chart and his mother’s negotiations.

The executioner, s’Ex caught him trying to escape, after having killed several guards. Trez dared s’Ex to kill him, but his divine fate means no one can kill him. Not even Trez himself. The executioner forced Trez back to his quarters by torturing his twin, iAm.

He would escape in 20 years, by removing all his jewel-encrusted clothing, with all the stainless steel to prevent dematerialisation, and invisibly smoked out as Shadows can, up through an air duct before the guards watching the surveillance cameras could catch him.

He materialised near the cabin where Rehvenge serviced the symphath princess. Rehv took care of him, earning his and iAm’s gratitude. They started looking out for Rehv from then on, particularly during his appointments with the princess.

Trez and iAm were introduced to readers as the Moors but now known as Shadows, the Reverend’s personal bodyguards and friends. While they were close to her, they didn’t answer to Xhex, as she looks after ZeroSum and its patrons, while the Reverend is their focus. It was implied in earlier books that Trez committed some big, bad sin and was sent to pay a debt with the UKs (Unknowables, which refers to anything non-Shadow) by working for Rehvenge, and iAm followed him, likely because they didn’t want to be separated. It looks like his only sin was escaping the Territory and potentially sullying himself with humans.

Trez follows Rehv when he meets the princess and is able to blend well enough in the shadows that not even a symphath can find him.

Rehvenge can hear Trez’s voice in his head, and I think that he can’t hear Rehv, and that Trez is projecting as opposed to Rehv being attuned to him. He has green eyes and fangs, and feeds on blood, like a vampire. When iAm cut his hand to make a blood vow, he bled blue.

He also shares the vampire ability to wipe human minds.

Trez is a hot head, but if you’re smart, you don’t underestimate his brother iAm just because he’s quiet. He is steadier and more realistic than Trez. They are both royal members of the s’Hisbe of Shadows (suh-HEEB), elevated from their middle class lifestyle when their parents sold Trez to the queen to be her daughter’s mate. He lived isolated in a white room, slowly going insane until a hunger strike forced the queen’s staff to bring iAm to keep him company. Since then, iAm was the tool used to keep Trez on the straight and narrow. They last saw their parents at an event, where they enjoyed their status but did not acknowledge the sons responsible for their serious upgrade, as they are now property of the queen.

Trez reads The Shadow Death Lexicon, an ancient book more suited to priests than potential kings.

iAm runs Salvatore’s Restaurant after the owner ran up some major gambling debts and exchanged ownership of the restaurant for cancellation of his debt to Rehvenge and his continued good health. iAm insisted that the sauce recipe be included in the deal. Under his management, the place actually turns a profit. With Rehvenge’s “passing”, iAm inherited Sal’s, while Trez got the Iron Mask. Trez opened a new nightclub called shAdoWs, and his book begins on opening night.

Trez uses the surname Latimer for the humans, so presumably iAm does as well.

Their loyalty to Rehvenge is so deep that they are offended when JM, Qhuinn and Blay bypass Rehv and ask them questions that would help find Xhex as it suggests that either they or Wrath don’t trust Rehv or believe he’d do whatever it takes to find her. But they agree to help the boys when JM explains that he doesn’t want the Brotherhood to know how he feels about Xhex so nobody expects them to have a relationship when she’s found.

They provide details of drug hotspots and promise to gather info on the big supplier in case Lash targets him. In return, they’re going to tell Rehv the boys stopped by (but not the content of their discussion) and expect to be kept in the loop. Rehv had commanded them to stay out of the search for Xhex for their own safety, but having JM reach out to them provides a handy loophole.

And since Rehv was not impressed that Xhex wanted to scout ahead at the lesser farmhouse during the day, he called Trez and iAm, who refused to leave Xhex, even to follow the new fore-lesser.

iAm was once in love with a female Trez has never met and it left him feeling miserable. He doesn’t talk about it. He told Beth that he had never been in love, so I’m now less sure what is true. He’s also currently celibate and is a virgin.

Trez feeds and fucks at work, but never from the same female or woman twice. iAm thinks it’s getting out of control, since Trez now typically screws a few different women every night and some of them get attached.

He’s acting out against being promised to the queen’s daughter and may hope that sex with so many UKs renders him soiled in her eyes. Serving Rehvenge was meant to be a punishment, but it really showed him a freedom he would never have with the princess.

Interested in expanding his business to another nightclub, he views an abandoned warehouse property, currently inhabited by the Bastards in an unofficial capacity but is never aware of their presence.

Rehv asks the Shadows to meet him at his Great Camp, where Trez is suddenly smitten by Selena. iAm tells Trez she is not for him. Rehvenge asks them to be hidden security at the next council meeting. Their presence is only revealed as a cold breeze on the floor.

Trez is getting migraines lasting 6-7 hours on a regular basis and needs to feed but he isn’t about to do that.

AnsLai, the Shadow high priest is sent to bring Trez back, and when one of his discarded partners compromises security at his and iAm’s Commodore apartment, iAm gets Rehvenge to ask Wrath if they can move in with the Brotherhood, knowing it’s only a temporary arrangement. Given the political climate, Wrath decides he could do with security that most people would never detect.

iAm tries to look after his brother during his migraines, but typically finds himself hamstrung by Boo, who paves the way for Selena to get some alone time with Trez. He is very attracted to her, but the closer they become, the dirtier he feels for all the casual sex he’s had (an estimated 2000 partners in a decade – only female, but only because males don’t appeal to him).

While waiting for Ans’Lai, iAm is visited by s’Ex, the queen’s executioner, who tells him that unless Trez returns to fulfill his destiny, he has orders to torture and kill their parents. iAm says it will make no difference to Trez and that he has polluted himself at every opportunity. The executioner tells him that makes no difference either, as Trez would need to be cleansed and he may not survive the process. He would certainly never be the same.

Trez is relived when iAm chooses to support him over their parents.

He lets s’Ex live in the Commodore and will provide a steady stream of women in groups of 3 or 4 if the executioner will influence the queen into not searching for him. He has no problem with his parents being killed, but iAm is off limits.

Trez busts a lesser with drugs bearing the Old Language symbol for death and calls Butch for lesser dispatch and investigation.

He finds Selena shortly after an attack and gets her to feed. They make love until he discovers she is a virgin, despite being an ehros. He is interrupted by a phone call from s’Ex demanding his due for impregnating the queen and creating the possibility of a new heir, to whom Trez is not promised. If the child is born female and the star charts declare her the new heir, Trez is free. If not, he must service the firstborn.

Trez finally comes clean (mostly) about his occupation as a pimp, his sexual partners and destiny within the s’Hisbe, and she regrets having been so intimate with him. He feels the poison of what he’s done and feels empty.

iAm offers to take Beth to her doctor and becomes her day bodyguard. To satisfy the pushy reporter she used to be, he admitted to never having been married or in love. He’s not gay, but is a virgin. He was too shy when he was in the s’Hisbe and believes in honouring his body by not sleeping around. He agreed to Beth setting him up if she finds someone decent, but doesn’t see himself as a good prospect, largely because of the mess he and Trez are in.

And despite being a demanding pain in the arse he refers to as Goddamn Cat, he likes Boo.

Trez starts to realise that servicing the queen’s daughter wouldn’t be much different to the meaningless sex he’s been having, except that iAm would be free.

With the success of the Iron Mask, Trez opened a new club called shAdoWs and on opening night, his bodyguards found drugs with Assail’s stamp on a lesser who should be dead, but isn’t. He wiped their minds and called the Brotherhood.

Rhage brought up his absence at the breakfast table and he doesn’t look like he’s fed. Rhage fed from Selena and feels so much better, Trez’s bonded instincts kicked in and he attacked Rhage, leaving no doubt as to their bond.

He came clean about his role in the s’Hisbe and V had a vision. He said Trez was running out of time with two females, for him the statue would waltz and to be present, even when he thinks it will kill him. Trez didn’t understand what any of this meant, and just didn’t want to know.

As the child born to the queen was not the heir, Trez is required back at the s’Hisbe in around a week, after the mourning period is observed. s’Ex is less inclined to help since is daughter was killed so pointlessly.

The Scribe Virgin came to Trez and took him to the Other Side to help Selena. Rhage and V helped him bring her back to be checked over by Jane. Cormia could tell immediately that she had the Arrest.

When Trez learned that Selena would end up frozen forever, he ran out of the room intent on ending his own life, but was prevented from blowing his brains out by iAm. iAm told his brother to hang in there as long as she’s alive if he hopes to go to the same place as Selena in the afterlife.

She regained control over her body, but went into cardiac arrest. She reached out to Trez and took some of his strength and essence into herself. He saved her and his strength quickly returned.

Trez couldn’t handle Selena telling him she loved him because he feels unworthy after all the meaningless sex. She sees him as worthy and avoided him because of her illness.

He wants them to be together as though they have a thousand nights ahead of them. She wants them to be honest and for him not to use her as a distraction from his issues. He didn’t want to burden her with the ticking clock on his return to the Territory to be mated, so she booted him from the room, insisting on honesty.

iAm returned to the Commodore, where he found s’Ex nursing a bottle. The queen wants him gone to avoid the public embarrassment of having been knocked up by a male who was not an aristocrat. Of course had the young been the heir, that would have been overlooked. The executioner wants to drown his sorrows in lots of women, but iAm will only provide them if s’Ex guarantees to get him safely out of the palace once he’s checked their library for anything on the Arrest. The Shadows have a background in healing and, like symphaths, are evolved from vampires.

He found the place he was supposed to meet s’Ex, but instead of being smuggled in, he was hit over the head and locked up.

Selena went to Trez’s room to apologise and they had sex, leaving her feeling satisfied and marked. He woke up regretting his loss of control, but she doesn’t regret a damn thing, which made it OK for him.

iAm found himself in a cell, stripped of his clothes and weapons, alone with a maid (or maichen in Shadow parlance, always in lower case), so low in rank as to be considered worthless in Shadow society. He found his body responding to her scent although she is masked and so covered in robes that he has no idea what she looks like.

No male is to touch maichen by pain of death. s’Ex wanted to know why she was so interested in this prisoner, but she does not defer to him as you might expect from a low born female. He is not allowed to see her face, but she forces him to. He is the first male to see her.

maichen recognised the tattoo on iAm’s back (is it white from poison?) identifying him as the brother of the Anointed One, and demanded from s’Ex better treatment of the prisoner until she could free him.

It’s pretty obvious who maichen is and that she has taken on the guise of a maid to have the run of the palace without attracting notice. Her masquerade began when she caught s’Ex with two human women which could have gotten him killed for indirectly exposing the queen’s sacred genitals to those of filthy humans.

She offered to take him to view the texts. He is attracted to her scent and voice.

Trez is afraid of heights, but he took Selena to a rotating restaurant Circle the World, just because she wanted to go. The war expanded to the ground below Circle the World. Trez and Fritz got Selena out safely and she really enjoyed the high speed drive. Fritz has mad skillz.

Towards the end of their search, iAm realised that he and maichen (the only name she ever gave him) weren’t going to find anything in the library as he’d never heard of the Arrest during his life in the Territory, and surely if any of his people had been afflicted with anything so serious, everyone would have heard of it as a possibility.

On their return, they were busted by s’Ex, who came to sneak iAm out. His imprisonment was the guards’ doing and had nothing to do with s’Ex.

iAm and maichen agreed to meet the following night at Rehv’s cabin on the mountain between the s’Hisbe Territory and the symphath colony.

When iAm returned to the mansion, Trez had no idea that he hadn’t simply been about his usual business, and iAm didn’t enlighten him. When Trez poured himself a very stiff drink and went to his room, he felt like a real burden to his brother and vowed to make it up to him.

For their next date, Trez borrowed Manny’s Porsche and drove Selena with the top down to an amusement park called Storytown, opened just for them. He suffered through roller coasters just because they made her happy.

Not long after they got home, he got a migraine that experience told him would lay him low for 6-8 hours. Selena made him as comfortable as she could and left him to rest.

The next time Trez saw iAm, he asked his brother, “As yourself what’s going to be left for you after I’m gone. If you’re honest, I don’t think you’re going to like the answer any more than I do.” iAm reflected that he’d spent his life being careful for his brother’s sake, working to keep him alive. He never met anyone, male or female, that he was attracted to, so he remained a virgin, despite having been born centuries ago.

He arrived at the cabin shortly before maichen.

This time together was something they were actively choosing, despite fate having ruled their lives up to this point, and they knew they would return to those lives. They both feel a sense of no going back or stopping once they start.

She offered her throat, which he eagerly accepted, and brought his wrist to her mouth so she could feed from him at the same time. He knew he was in danger of bonding with her.

It was the first time either of them had sex, but they both enjoyed it because this is a romance novel.

They planned to meet the following night at the Commodore. Although she smells like him after what they’ve done, she is only comfortable being called maichen and won’t tell him her given name.

Rhage called iAm’s situation “Phury Syndrome – a condition wherepon one brother was so fucked-up that the other fell into a black hole trying to save him.” He and V smelled a female on him and made a couple of veiled remarks, but Lassiter with his usual tact made a huge announcement that iAm had gotten laid. Imagine losing your virginity and everyone you live with finds out about it almost as soon as it happened, before you’ve had time to process it.

After seeing Luchas’s anger, Selena wants Trez to promise to keep living after she’s gone. He got angry that she might want him to be with someone else, because that can only mean she doesn’t truly love him. She got angry right back because she doesn’t want to die and be forgotten one day. She wants him to be celibate till the day he dies, which makes him feel better. She’s afraid of being trapped in her body, so she would never want him to be trapped in life. If he ever finds joy after she’s gone, she wants him to consider it a gift from her.

Trez proposed to her and she said yes. He wants to give her everything she wants, including the biggest damn ring he can buy. She wants to make him dinner even though she can’t toast bread.

He promised to build her a pyre so she can be free instead of ending up as a statue in the Chosen’s cemetery.

maichen checked on the queen to ensure she was still mourning and would not miss her while she was with iAm. Unfortunately, the bitch queen caught her and reminded her that she is easily replaceable as she can always have another child. (I’ve just realised that implies that the Shadows may not have the vampires’ difficulty in procreating and probably don’t go into needing.)

She knew she had to see iAm at least once more and followed the echo of her blood to him.

Even without being able to see her face, he can tell something is wrong.

Trez and Selena went to a fancy, expensive jeweller for her ring. She almost went nuts when she saw the prices since she won’t be around to wear it very long. He just wants to share the experience with her and give death the middle finger.

iAm wants to mark maichen with sex, but is in total denial over his feelings because of their complicated situation.

Trez interrupted them with a phone call when he found out that iAm had gone back to the Territory. He hit the roof because iAm could have been caught and used as leverage to bring Trez back to be mated in a few days, costing him Selena’s last days on earth.

Selena overheard the bit about Trez’s pending mating and they argued about his future and the way he makes his living. (iAm returned to maichen in bed.)

Trez told her that he does not allow drugs in his clubs. The sex workers are independent contractors protected under his roof and keep 90% of what they earn. The remaining 10% goes towards his bills and the bouncers who keep the venues safe.

He’s kept quiet about his life because it’s cost him so much and he doesn’t want it to touch her.

Once this argument was resolved, he reached down to pull her to her feet, but she froze for the last time.

iAm tried to convince maichen to stay with him whole ina kind of denial over the difficulties of hiding from the s’Hisbe, but before she could finish saying no, he got a call from Rhage about Selena.

Trez talked to her for hours while he watched her fade. As the doctors took iAm aside to tell him it was time, Trez asked Selena if she wanted to go now, and through a yes/no blink code, she told him that she didn’t want Phury or her sisters to see her like this and to let her go. Manny administered the injection and she was gone.

While the pyre was being built according to symphath tradition (they chose to go with a design known to work), Trez carved his chest in tribute to her while iAm waited with the salt that would seal the wounds.

He carried Selena up the stairs and placed her on the platform. V handed him a torch and it caught fire quickly, due to an accelerant. He seemed to forget he was still holding the burning torch, so iAm took it from him as he screamed his loss. Rhage picked him up and carried him from the flames so he wouldn’t burn as well.

That night the audience house got a phone call from the Shadows demanding the return of their Anointed One by midnight the following night or they would declare war on the vampires. Wrath told iAm, who was thanking everyone for their help that night, but the king also said he was not handing Trez over and the Shadows would lose in a war against the vampires and symphaths, so bring it. iAm was overcome by his loyalty.

He went to the Commodore where maichen was waiting for him. s’Ex was also there and called maichen Princess and told iAm that he must kill him for seeing her face (even though he’s seen it himself and is not about to commit suicide).

maichen is Princess Catra vin SuLaneh etl MuLanen deh FonLerah.

iAm was shocked and pissed that she lied and would have done things differently if he’d know the truth. He also confronted s’Ex about the phone call. This was the first he’d heard of it and he certainly would not have advised war, despite his confidence in his soldiers’ abilities.

iAm told him that he could tell the s’Hisbe that he and his brother are no longer with the vampires and no one will ever find them.

His only tie to Caldwell was maichen and that is now broken. He is putting into motion plans for him to leave. Xhex can have the nightclubs if she wants them, otherwise they can go to their bouncers Big Rob and Silent Tom, who have put in the work to earn them. Sal’s would be left to its head chef who knows the staff, the food and has the ability to handle front and back of house.

He would then text the BDB and leave his phone behind at the mansion so that they cannot be traced, even if the Shadows pull mind tricks on them.

He wished he could stay at Sal’s. The problems of running a restaurant are far more comfortable than his usual stress and he can actually do something about problems with the business.

Catra realised that she had been selfish in maintaining her masquerade with iAm and feels as though there should be a way she can help him and Trez be free.

s’Ex found her before she could enter the palace. The queen has ordered a public cleansing for her, involving a corrosive acid solution being injected into the vein, causing agony and vomiting for nights until the unlucky recipient brings up everything in their system. Since he’s already been implicated in her escape and is no safer than she is, maybe s’Ex could take her to the astrology room and stand guard while she checks up on a few things.

Trez woke up alone and talked to Selena, even though he knew she was gone. He can still smell her and knows he will go through life underscored by his loss until something triggers a memory and reminds him of his grief.

He went downstairs where he overheard that the Shadows are mobilising forces to collect him. He ghosted out without anyone noticing and although he promised Selena that he would live, he thought about the lives he was about to save and called it even.

Catra found the birth charts of her mother, late sister and herself, as well as Trez’s chart, showing him to be her mate. She had been so sure that the charts had been doctored, but was sorely mistaken.

On a closer look, there were white flakes covering parts of the chart. Trez was the second born, not the first. iAm was the Anointed One and her destined mate. The Chief Astrologer must have altered the chart and high priest AnsLai must also have known. But she doesn’t understand why the point of swapping the twins like that.

They were trapped inside the astrology room, but none of the guards can get past s’Ex.

She then also noticed a cold spot on her sister’s chart.

Trez materialised in front of the Territory’s gates. The guards are prohibited from touching his sacred body, but he surrendered himself voluntarily.

Catra found that the infant’s chart had been altered as well. The young was the rightful heir, murdered for nothing. Knowing that the Chief Astrologer, the high priest and the queen (who was always her leader and never her mother) would all die by s’Ex’s hand, she admitted only that the twins’ charts had been changed.

The Chief Astrologer that he changed the twins’ charts because the queen threatened his family. iAm was a sickly baby, while Trez was strong. Of course she chose the healthy son for her heir.

Catra disarmed s’Ex and made it very clear that they needed the Chief Astrologer alive before she told him that his daughter’s chart had also been altered. The Chief Astrologer confessed that the queen did not want s’Ex’s bloodline contaminating the throne, so she demanded the date be changed. Catra would have been second in line to the throne (and maybe killed?)

Knowing full well that he would go after the queen, Catra gave s’Ex back his knife. She mourned the loss of her sister, which touched s’Ex, who never expected to have someone to share the loss with, or that she would care.

He made two cuts on his face: one for his daughter and one for what he was about to put right.

The Chief Astrologer was the first to pledge himself to Queen Catra.

When iAm found out that Trez had turned himself in, he was prepared to storm the palace. Rhage stopped him long enough to take Lassiter as backup, since he can be out in the sun and has angel powers.

Catra was layered in jewels and a thin veil over her face. She heard the announcement that the Anointed One had arrived, but was unable to reach him before the cleansing acid was injected into him.

Trez welcomed the pain because if he did not survive, he would be with Selena, so long as their different faiths did not keep them apart.

s’Ex met iAm at the gate and told him that he was actually the Anointed One, but that he had to hurry up if he wanted to see Trez before the cleansing killed him.

He saw Catra being crowned near the head of her former leader. The queen is dead. Long live the queen.

AnsLai gave Trez the antidote, but doesn’t know if it will work in time. He also told iAm that his parents know he is the true Aointed One and wanted to see him. iAm replied that if they wanted to live, they need to stay out of his way.

I think Trez was nearing death and not actually dead when he went to the Fade and saw Selena again. She told him that he must go back for iAm and repay him for all the years he’s looked after Trez.

He did and said the words iAm said to him so many times in their lives, “I’m here and I’m not leaving you.”

Finally free of having to worry about Trez, iAm is overwhelmed by the feeling.

They returned to the mansion. Lassiter had been devastated by Trez’s almost death but made such a ridiculous picture in fuzzy slippers that Trez laughed and thanked Selena for the gift.

Queen Catra’s first act was to abolish the Anointed One, although iAm does not yet know. Then she turned her mother’s suite into a daycare for the servants’ children. She promoted s’Ex to a kinglike position, but one where they don’t have to be mated.

iAm returned to the Territory after s’Ex told him he’d been freed. He forgave Catra because she risked her life for the truth and saved Trez. He told her he loved her.

Trez went to Sal’s, where he found iAm cooking for maichen (as she still prefers to be called). He could see that she loved iAm and couldn’t think of anyone better for his brother. He wished Selena could have met her and maichen said she would have loved Selena after having heard so much about her that moment of togetherness, Trez said to Selena, “Thank you, my queen. We needed this.”


With cafe au lait skin, dark hair and light eyes, Selena was introduced as the Chosen who had been sequestered to record vampire events before Cormia requested the job. She is also a rare Chosen who, like Cormia, was not afraid of Rehvenge when he visited the great camp in the Adirondacks every month.

She fed Tohr for the first time since Wellsie’s death and he nearly killed her in his hunger. She later fed Saxton after he was attacked by homophobic humans. I think the fact that she is still willing to feed males shows she has spine.

She made quite an impression on Trez when he saw her at Rehvenge’s Great Camp when she offered to feed him food fresh from the oven.

Also, with Layla pregnant, Selena is the Chosen requested to feed the males, meaning she will spend a lot of time at the mansion, where Trez and iAm are staying.

Like most of the Chosen, Selena enjoys being of use and feeding the males who aren’t able to feed from a mate while Layla is pregnant. She also wants to help Trez when she sees that he is ill, at least partly because she is drawn to him.

She has a disease of the Chosen that will leave her trapped inside her unmoving and unresponsive body. She already has occasional attacks where her joints freeze up and she is unable to move even though she can still feel. She sometimes visits the statues of her sisters in the cemetery on the Other Side.

She believes she is in the end stage of the disease and thinks her sisters lasted only months on this side, but hadn’t asked enough questions about their progression to know when to expect each new development.

She became lethargic until Trez found and fed her. They began to make love, but he stopped when he discovered she was a virgin, despite having been trained as an ehros. She feels a strong need to seize the day while she has mobility and still wants him, despite his protests that they shouldn’t be together, but they are interrupted by a phone call from s’Ex.

Trez told Selena that he is a pimp who has slept with over 2000 women in the past decade and was promised to someone from birth. She regrets the entire situation: her dismal future, her feelings for Trez and the unpleasant revelation of his lifestyle.

She doesn’t get to see much of Trez after that because he feels soiled by his own actions, both the casual sex and deflowering a virgin when he has nothing to offer. But she feels the clock ticking.

Selena’s health continues to decline and she lies about being anything less than 100%. She wants to continue feeding the warriors, to have a role and purpose for however long she may have left. There is no telling when the last time she will perform a task will come and she spends the rest of her existence as a statue.

She went back to the Other Side and found herself in the cemetery surrounded by her sisters, forever frozen as she would be one day. To her horror, she suffered an episode there and fell forward on her face. She called for help and after awhile Trez appeared and took her back to be checked over by Jane. Cormia came to see her and announced she had the Arrest.

Selena slowly and painfully began to regain movement and went into cardiac arrest. The crash cart wasn’t helping, so she reached out to Trez and took some of his essence and strength into herself. She was revived at his expense, but his strength quickly returned.

She told him she loved him and that she hadn’t avoided him because he was unworthy. On the contrary, she believes he is a very worthy male. She avoided him because she was sick and dying.

He wants to live on the moment with her and for them to act as though they have a thousand nights ahead of them so they’re not constantly haunted by her impending death. She wants them to be honest about where they are and for him not to use her situation as a way of denying his own issues.

He was obviously hiding what was happening at the Territory, so she booted him from the room for already not being honest with her.

She went to his room to apologise, which led to them having the kind of sex that left her feeling very satisfied and marked. She doesn’t regret a damn thing.

When they learned that Selena and Trez were having a dinner date at Circle the World, all the shellans (yes, even Xhex and Marissa) besides Jane, who is working, hijack Trez’s room to help Selena with hair, makeup and clothing. Total success.

She enjoyed the dinner but felt bad the Trez was there when he was afraid of heights. When the war spread to the ground below the restaurant, she was safely escorted to the car and had a fun, fast paced drive home. It was fun until seeing it on the news drove home how dangerous the situation was.

Their next date involved driving Manny’s Porsche with the top down to an amusement park called Storytown, opened just for them. She loves roller coasters. He doesn’t.

Returning to a quiet mansion, knowing how everyone is living their lives and doing things, while she spent most of her life following someone else’s rules and traditions, she wished she had challenged that and asked questions (the SV seems to allow that now).

Trez got a migraine, so she made him as comfortable as possible before leaving him in peace. Her hand froze on the knob of the door she’d just pulled shut behind her.

She went to the clinic to see Jane, but the doctor was in the middle of a minor emergency with Luchas going on a bender after discovering the loss of his leg and that the death he’d been hoping for and working towards was not forthcoming.

Selena told him she was dying and would trade places with him to be able to stay with the one she loves. The loss of a leg is a small enough price to pay.

Afraid that Trez might become as angry as Luchas, she wanted him to promise that he will continue to live without her. He was angry because she couldn’t really love him if she’s encouraging him to be with someone else. She got angry right back at him because she doesn’t want to go, the rest of her life is being taken from her by this fucking disease and she’d be only too happy for him to remain celibate for the rest of his days, which reassured him of her love. Because she’s afraid of being trapped in her body, she would never want him to feel trapped in life. She wants him to see every joy as a gift from her.

He proposed and she ecstatically said yes. She wants the ring, the party, everything.

She told him she does not want to be a statue in the cemetery on the Other Side, so he will build her a pyre and give her her freedom.

She wants to make Trez dinner at Rehv’s place up north (I know they saw each other at the great camp where the Chosen live, I don’t know if she knows abut the cabin), even though she can’t toast bread without burning it.

They went to an expensive, high end jeweller for her ring. Chosen don’t wear jewellery beyond a pearl that is assigned to them, but isn’t really theirs. She almost had a heart attack when she saw the prices because she won’t live long enough to get value for money. Trez wants them to enjoy this experience and flip death off while they can.

She overheard Trez and iAm arguing about his pending mating in a few days, which had come as a huge shock to her to discover he was promised to someone else. They argued over his life and his living. He explained that he does not allow drugs in his clubs and that the sex workers are independent contractors, whom he protects. They keep 90% of what they earn while the rest goes to bills and the bouncers. He does not profit from sex.

Once that was resolved, he reached down to pull her to her feet, and she froze for the last time. Trez stayed with her for hours, talking to her. Finally, he asked her if it was time, and if she wanted to see her sisters and Phury before she passed. Using her yes/no blink code, she told Trez that she didn’t want anyone to see her like this and that yes, it was time. Manny gave her two injections and it was done.

The Chosen and Primale observed private rituals while some of the females of the house made ceremonial dishes and the remainder of the household built her pyre.

Approaching death himself, Trez saw her in the Fade and she thought he might join her, but he still had things to do. She told him he had to return to his brother and make up for all the years iAm had looked after him. She knows they’ll be together when his time comes.