I was listening to 702 ABC Sydney this afternoon and caught a bit of James Valentine’s review of Twilight, the movie. I didn’t bother noting it down because I thought the ABC would have a transcript online as it usually does for its TV programs, but I just checked, and NO TRANSCRIPT. Boo!
Such a shame, because it was such a funny review. Now I should mention that I haven’t read Twilight, I’m not at all invested in the film and, in fact, I don’t even know if I’ll read Twilight in the near future. (And especially not after Wandergurl sent me this link. Note: not for the squeamish. No, really.)
Anyway, it sounded like James thought the film had merit, and he had good things to say about the director, but I got the impression that he found the film a bit juvenile (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Here are some of the comments I can recall, recreated as best I can…
It’s not surprising that it’s so popular with young adults. Vampires and teenagers go very well together because they have one very important thing in common: their pre-occupation with sex. After all, according to Valentine, vampire bites are just glorified hickies with a bit of bubbly goodness. *snort*
On the lead actors
They do a lot staring. I think Valentine may have actually said, “Stare, stare, stare…”
On the narration
The film features some of the worst narration ever found in a movie. Apparently, some old man (or elf or something–I can’t remember) told Bella that Edward’s a vampire, Edward himself told her he’s a vampire, and even after all that, the narration goes something along the lines of: And I’ve come to the realisation that Edward is a vampire. (Does anyone know the proper quote?)
On the special effects
I got the sense that this was the biggest disappointment for Valentine. He said the effects are at about the same level as Xena: Warrior Princess (oh, ouch!). He basically said that it’s a shame because the film has a great director, but the special effects are so bad as to be laughable (my words, not his).
So what I want to know is … should I go see the movie or should I read the book first? And if I do, will someone promise to make sure I don’t read any of the sequels? *g*