By admin In the last year, I have worked with several organisations on the topic safety. I helped them to manage crises and supported them during the healing process. In my work, I found that performing arts organizations are increasingly turning to intimacy coaches as a source of support. Intimacy coaches, what are they? In the wake of #metoo, directors and actors who are unsure how to handle sexually charged performances have a growing industry. In the wake of shocking harassment allegations that continue to plague the performing arts industry, it is becoming increasingly important to discuss how to navigate the complexity of the “human experience”. Intimacy coaches are experts in staging scenes involving nudity or sexuality. These coaches help their clients demystify scenes and plot body movements, such as eyeline and hand position. The intimacy coaches are also able to help actors overcome their fears and protect themselves from unwanted touch.
What can sport leaders and coaches learn from this case?
As an Integral Coach Master(TM), people often ask me to help them through their change initiatives. I do this by creating a coaching program. It involves defining the desired shift for the client and developing the necessary muscles to support the change. When I consider our sector’s desire for a shift in the area of safe sport, we can take some lessons from the performing arts and our own sport organizations. These measures support healthy dialogues between athletes, coaches, athletes, and trainers, as well as athletes, athletes, and coaches.
Here’s how.
When discussing this topic with others, it became apparent that there were good practices to support healthy environments for both athletes and coaches. Gymnastics Canada, for example, recently updated their coach training program so that it speaks directly to safe spotting practice. Gymnastics Canada defines “spotting” as physical contact between a trainer and an athlete, which is intended to meet the athlete’s needs. This language can be used to promote healthy contact in your sport. Spotting:
- When needed, spotting is used to guide the athlete in orienting or positioning them so that they can reproduce movements.
- When necessary, spotting for safety can be used to reduce the chance of injury or error. The goal is to design and use safe progressions whenever possible.
- When this happens, apologize for the violation of boundary immediately. Stop and reflect if this happens more than twice.
Safe Sport are also being hired by more sports to ensure that the safety of their organization is maintained. respect in sport, a national program that began in 1992, aims to educate, inform and empower athletes, coaches and community leaders on bullying, harassment and abuse. The Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport and the Coaching Association have launched the responsible coaching movement in order to maintain key safety measures in sports. There is still much to do to create a respectful, safe learning environment for athletes.
We are less likely to be able initiate change until we openly discuss , this. Many sport coaches have told me that they find it difficult to talk about some of the most intimate and emotional issues that come up. We can’t reach our full potential if we don’t feel comfortable discussing .… . We can learn from other sectors, and turn to organizations that are proactively putting safety measures in place, to speak directly about these issues.
Below are some points I would like to make in order to review good practices that can support a healthy discussion on topics like appropriate contact. We are happy to assist coaches and leaders who are having difficulty designing a process that will facilitate a conversation on this topic. Some ways I see the sport industry dealing with this issue proactively include:
- Normalize It: Have an experienced mental performance or leadership consultant facilitate a discussion between the sports coach and athletes about a variety of topics which may still be taboo. The conversations that can be held to de-mystify uncomfortable subjects by setting clear expectations and boundaries are what I find most appealing. Most sport coaches are aware of the differences between their athletes. What works for one athlete may not work for another. It is important to have a language that describes what feels right, and what should be avoided. This will help to create a respectful atmosphere between all parties.
- Communication style:We hear it often… It’s not what we say, but how we say it. It’s not just about physical wellbeing – safe sport also involves emotional wellness. I encourage all participants in sport (athletes and coaches, leaders, volunteers and officials) to consider not only the message they want to convey, but also their body language. Communication is largely determined by body language and tone, so make sure you are clear about your message before speaking. You should also consider the audience and timing. If your athlete is introverted, it might be better to choose a location that’s less crowded.
- Make the consent explicit. My advice is to make sure that athletes, coaches and parents (for those athletes who are under 18) have an understanding from the start of what contact is acceptable and not. Like massage therapists who seek consent before providing a service, parents and athletes could receive a letter of permission to ensure that they understand the protocol and feel comfortable.
- Ask permission at the moment: Before contact occurs, ask permission. This is one of the best prevention strategies sport coaches can use. In sports requiring complex maneuvers, such as gymnastics, athletes can benefit from feeling the coach’s intentions. The coach can empower the athlete by asking permission: “I’d like to demonstrate how I want your body positioned, so I will place my hand on your shoulders and turn it slightly.” You can then ask the athlete if they are comfortable with the move ?”. Then, walk the athlete through it by having a conversation. “Can your shoulder feel different when this position is used?”.
- Apologize if unintended contacts occur: When trying to ensure safety for athletes, it is possible that unintended contacts may occur. In the moment, apologize by saying “I didn’t intend to touch you and I apologize” to make it clear that there was no intention to touch the athlete in an inappropriate way.
- Self Reflection: As a coach, I encourage you to reflect on what you are doing well as well as areas where improvement is needed. Asking for feedback from another coach on their position is beneficial if, for example, the coach finds themselves apologizing repeatedly for unintentional contact. It is important that the coach develops self-awareness so they can take action to protect the athlete’s personal boundaries and safety. Journaling daily is a great way to improve mindfulness.
- Encourage feedback. Recently, the SLSG launched a service for sport organizations titled reality check. This new service gives athletes a voice by asking directly about their experiences. It doesn’t avoid uncomfortable topics. It’s not just about uncovering questionable behavior, but also about giving athletes the opportunity to speak openly and freely about how they feel emotionally and physically. We all benefit when athletes are safe!
We can reduce the chances that unintended contact is misinterpreted by learning from the best practices of other industries and implementing some of proactive measures in sport organizations. We cannot prevent bad things from occurring, but we can minimize the risk associated with unsafe practices.