We’re entering the serious phase, where people have to have serious chats about their relationships amidst all the drinking. Airs on Channel 10.

Night Four of our second Paradise marathon. Recapping is an endurance sport, not a sprint. Airs on Channel 10.

Time for another voyage into Paradise! Even though this show has been going for eleventy million years, they’re still introducing new people. Airs on Channel 10.

The Powers That Be take what little inherent narrative there is in attractive people getting drunk on a beach and throw it away! Airs on Channel 10.

If Channel Ten foists another four episodes on us next week, I literally will not be able to even. Won’t someone think of the recappers? Airs on Channel 10.

I’m flagging fast. I devoted so much energy to hating Daniel that I’m exhausted. Airs on Channel 10.